Early April Fools’ Day?

Whenever I relate funny and/or amusing stories, my boss always asks, “Is there a video of that?” Wednesday, March 30, would have been a great day to have a head-cam. Since there is no video of the day, I’ll try to be as descriptive as I can. Sorry, no pictures either.

I drive carpool on Wednesdays. Ryan attends a school a little further away than our neighborhood school, so it takes us a while to drop off the other kids in the carpool and then make it home. Wednesdays he has scouts at 4:00, so it is usually pretty tight to get home, get him changed to his scout shirt, get his scout book, and get him to scouts on time. March 30 was particularly stressful, as I had the conference call for my PhD comprehensive exams at 4:00. I told Ryan that morning that we’d really have to hurry, and that I’d have to take him to scouts a few minutes early so I could make it home in time to call in and log in to the web conference.

The day was warm and sunny – a switch from the Utah Spring snow we had the days before and after. Ryan BEGGED to “shoot hoops” for “just a minute.” That should have been my first warning.

Ryan and Copper have this high-contact basketball routine. As Ryan shoots hoops, Copper plays an excellent defender, trying to prevent Ryan from shooting. (As I type this, I realize that I really do need to video one of their games.) As they were playing, apparently Copper just unexpectedly ran off.

A couple of minutes later, Ryan shot the ball, and it went into the yard. He noticed Copper near the house, and went to investigate. Copper was standing over a newly-killed RAT! I have lived in this house on and off since 1972, and I have NEVER seen a rat!

Copper was standing over it, but kind of pawing at it. I knew we had to dispose of it immediately, especially before we left. I didn’t want Copper to be left alone in the backyard with it. I asked Ryan to hold Copper back while I went for the garbage can, which was outside of our back gate at the time. I opened the gate to bring in the garbage can, and Copper went running by!!!

Copper has escaped the yard a handful of times, and once he’s gone, he is usually gone for a very long time. Ryan and I have spent many hours chasing him around the neighborhood. As he ran down the driveway, I came to the horrific realization that I would not likely be making it to my conference call on time.

About that time, I had a thought. Copper loves to go for rides in the car. I yelled, “Copper, do you want to go for a ride in the car?” He ran back up the driveway! I opened the car door, he jumped in, and I closed the car door. He looked at me with the most betrayed look on his face! I yelled to Ryan to get the leash, and we got him a bit more restrained.

While Ryan was holding the leash, I went to our shed to grab a shovel. The handle would not budge! It is a metal handle, and it appeared to have rusted a little bit during the winter. We still had two snow shovels out, so I grabbed one of those.
For those of you who don’t know, Ryan and I both have extremely weak stomachs. That has caused many humorous scenarios over the years. I won’t go into great detail, but let’s just say that we both get grossed out pretty easily. Ryan held Copper on the leash as I tried to pick up the rat in the snow shovel. (I’m seriously grossing myself out just typing this again.) After a couple of minutes, I realized I was not going to be able to do it.

Ryan is greatly motivated by money. Sometimes that really concerns me, but in this case, it came in handy. I offered Ryan $10 to pick up the rat with the shovel and carry it to the garbage can. He handed me Copper’s leash, and he did it! Ryan carried the rat in the snow shovel to the garbage can, while I held on to Copper, who was still trying to jump up to see the rat. Those few steps, with us both maneuvering across the yard with crazy animals, was probably quite a sight, too!

We went inside and washed (scrubbed raw, really) our hands, Ryan put on his scout shirt, and I took him to scouts. Believe it, or not, he was on time for scouts, and I was on time for my conference call!